Tag Archives: loss

My Journey of Rescue: Part One

19 Jan

I love dogs. I have been sad over losing my Buddha Boy. I have felt rudderless. Without an anchor to hold me steady. I lost something beautiful and oh so important.

I started on a journey of rescue. Ready or not, friends started sending links to rescue sites where cute terriers awaited my visit. And as it turned out unexpectedly, I fell in love. A lot. With cute faces and warm eyes. Just as my wonderful vet said I would. But permanent attachment to any of these loves was not to be.

What did happen by the end of the journey – which I am calling Part One out of high hopes and a positive feeling of what will be – is that I realized I learned so much more than I could have ever imagined. About dogs, sure. About myself, too. And about finding myself anew. Our capacities for love really know no bounds. Neither computer screen nor 7-page applications keep us from getting touched by living creatures that get under our skins.

Each dog has made an

indelible paw print on my heart.

You do not meet these sweet vulnerable beings – in person or online – without remembering them forever. I have not forgotten any one of them. I can’t. Each has made an indelible paw print on my heart. And though it makes me sad now. Brings tears to my eyes. I know that my heart is fuller for knowing them. For going through the experience (as hard as it turned out to be for me). And that can only be a good thing.

SimonSimon.cr MaxxMaxx.cr

All need to be rescued. Their stories are difficult to hear. Their damage both visible and unseen. Because of my own story, exactly because of my own story, I have always believed that as long as a creature is present on this Earth, it will need rescuing. Shelter or shop, it’s a living thing that needs a home. As I know only too well, the picture presented on the outside isn’t always the reality on the inside. We all need rescuing.

At each trial, however, my gut instinct was telling me no, not right, not this one, not yet. There is scientific evidence of “an inner knowing preceding our rational mind.” I have always listened to my gut feeling and my intuition. Heeding these inner inklings has always been my natural course. You can’t overthink on love. You feel the rightness about it, in which case there is no back and forth, no right or not right debate. With intact memories of my first meetings with Skeffington, then Buddha, I knew what I expected. That would be a strong feeling of joy without any thought of anything else. This is my guidepost. The only one I know. Thus on this journey, my ultimate conclusion was that heart not head prevail.

FergusFergus.cr BennieBennie.cr

I think about each dog. Those I met and the ones I met solely online but hoped to meet. I pray that they are well and that they are happy. That they are comfortable and loved. They deserve to be in homes where kindness is the norm.

I learned right away that it was not just about the dogs. The people I met on this journey were kind, trustworthy, and well-intentioned. Very smart, very savvy about the dogs in their care. It is their mission. I did not want to disappoint any of them. They deserved to know the truth about their charge’s future home life. They learned my story to determine my value to their charges. I answered all their questions. I asked a lot of questions of each of them, too. And they rewarded me with their knowledge and patience. In each case, hard as it was for me, and I was told hard for them, too, the right decision was always made. Always. Just because I am sad for what might have been, the right way prevailed. It is always about the best for the dog. That’s what we’re all in this for, right?

LucasLucas.cr2 MatthewMatthew.cr2

Rescue works both ways. Believe me. It is the truth. I believe this deep down in my bones. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Although Richard Gere rescues her, Pretty Woman Julia Roberts rescues him right back – it is how this whole life thing works.

We rescue each other. With kindness and love and respect. And our dogs deserve nothing less. They are sweet, sweet, sweet creatures. They will love you and trust you and count on you. You need to be worthy of all that. Anything else, anything less, will not, cannot do.

I am changed by the dogs I met. By the people I talked to. By the experiences I went through. By the feelings I had. Every day I think about Simon, Maxx, lovely Fergus, Bennie, Lucas, and sweet, shy Matthew. Does a new chapter await? I hope so. There is still the next journey to be taken. Because there is a need yet unfulfilled. Love will be found. So I am told. So I believe. Amen.




Inner knowing quote: The Intuitive Compass by Francis P. Cholle (Jossey-Bass 2012)
Simon: Home For Good Dog Rescue
Maxx: Zani’s Furry Friends
Fergus: Unconditional Love Pet Rescue
Bennie: Animal Haven
Lucas: Posh Pets Rescue
Matthew: Bideawee

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